The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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