plz talk dirty to me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
