Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
