so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
