Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
