dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
