Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
