It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
