would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
