fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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