Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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