I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize