Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I accidentally had phone sex last night

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.

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(410): View more from Maryland

You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.

(1-715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer

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