Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
