I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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