pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
