you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
