thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
