Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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