I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
