Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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