Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
