all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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