Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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