Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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