If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
