he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
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