...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
