I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
