I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
wow bdsm is so cute
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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