i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
