There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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