she smelled like a LAN party
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
