maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
