just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
