You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
