i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
