I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
