She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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