He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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