i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
