Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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