My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
