i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize