im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
