Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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