i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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