woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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