i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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