I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
