Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
