A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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