Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
