Porn is love you can see.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
