You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
