YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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