You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
