i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
