everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
