Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
