he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize