Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
