ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
...so i touched it.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
