The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
