I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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